Idiot Customers » Retail

Humanity Is Doomed

A-Train — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 21:25:43 +0000

Taken at an Alabama grocery store…
I weep… I weep

What the hell

A-Train — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 19:21:03 +0000

What the bell is wrong with people. Who thinks that Macing other shoppers is a good black friday strategy. It’s getting to the point where these frenzied sales are beginning to put other people in danger. I can’t wait for a major retailer to get sued big time by an injured customer or former employee.

I Wish It Would Rain Down…

A-Train — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 07:09:14 +0000

This guy slams a box on the customer service counter and starts screaming at me. He says the damn thing doesn’t work and there are holes in his roof because of us. The guy then said if it rains we will be paying for the repairs to his house. He ranted for some time, repeating over and over again, that there are holes in his roof. Apparently he had bought a satellite system, went home, installed it on his roof and then proceeded to uninstall it claiming it doesn’t work. After listening to the jerk go on forever about how we supposedly sold him defective merchandise, he finally stopped screaming long enough for me to speak. I asked, “Did you call to sign up for services?” He responded, “What do you mean sign up for services?” I proceeded to take a very large piece of paper out of the box he brought with him. Across the top in big red letters it says, “Before installation please call to activate services at 1-800-….” I pointed to the words. He looked at it in dead silence, picked up his box and walked back out the door. Secretly I was wishing it would rain.

One-Eyed Fat Man

A-Train — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 09:14:11 +0000

I used to work at a discount clothing store that was notorious for attracting a less than savory demographic. We were the first store in the franchise to be in a shopping mall, and like most department stores in malls, we had two entrances; one on the outside of the building and another that went to the area where the rest of the stores were. Midway through the day, this fat bastard with an eye-patch walked in through the mall entrance with his disgusting wife. As far as I could tell she was a mute, most likely caused by too many beatings with an ugly stick.
Eventually she found a crappy glass statue of a dolphin in our home décor department, and her husband decided to treat her to an anniversary gift by paying for it. After waddling his ass to the outside entrance, he tracks me down to the center of the store, and with arrogant tone asked, “Why ain’t there registers at the outside doors?”
In an attempt to cheer them up, I jokingly responded, “Because we were gonna take care of that issue today, but I left my blueprints for the new registers on the kitchen table when I left this morning.” Needless to say, they weren’t amused, but given that I was the store’s most experienced associate and the fact that my boss was pretty cool about it, if a customer verbally pushed me, I usually could get away with pushing back.
“I ain’t walking all the way to the back of the store to pay!” the man exclaimed as he drooled on his greasy undershirt.
“Well, what would you like me to do to solve this problem?” I chuckled, “Carry you? You’re at the center of the store. I’m no mathematician, but I think it’d be just as easy to walk up and pay as it would to walk out.”
He took a moment for that to process. “What are you an idiot or something? I gots ‘ta go all the way up there, pay, and then walk all the way back to the other door!”
I smiled. “I realize that, sir. But I assumed you weren’t parked out there since you came in through the mall entrance.”
“Know what?! …HERE!” The one-eyed man grabbed the dolphin from his wife and shoved it into my hands. “I’m handicapped! I don’t need this!” He stormed back to the mall entrance with his silent wife following behind.
“I didn’t know being an asshole was a handicap,” I responded. They were only a short distance away and heard me.
“What did you say?!” They stopped and sneered back at me.
I just smiled and waved. “I said have a nice day!” Meanwhile, my boss was watching the whole thing from a few feet behind me, silently laughing his ass off. Sometimes retail can be a lot of fun.

No It’s Magic

A-Train — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 08:17:19 +0000

An old man came into the store one day yelling about his remote control being broken. He complained that he had to drive 50 miles to get to our store so we can replace the remote. I took the remote from him and went to our testing device. It would detect any infrared signal coming from the remote. Nothing was detected. The asshole old man starts in on me how it is defective and we need to replace it. I asked him how long he has had the TV and he said about a year. I proceeded to pop open the battery cover pop out the batteries and then popped in a new set of AA batteries. I pointed the remote at the detector again. What do you know there is a signal now. I walk over to the old coot and say, “It just needed a new set of batteries.” His response was amazing, “That thing takes batteries?!” No, it’s magic you stupid old man!

Zip Code Privacy

A-Train — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:34:43 +0000

After we ring out customers at our store we ask for their zip code to track where our business is coming from. It is amazing how many customers refuse to provide it saying that it is an intrusion on their privacy. Then they pay with a check, debit or credit card. That tells us more about them than their zip code. Some customers are such idiots.

3 Strikes

A-Train — Tue, 18 May 2010 05:34:56 +0000

I was at Walgreens the other day and the lady in front of me was a true Idiot customer. She gets up to the counter and asks for her prescriptions. The pharmacy employee starts hunting up the prescriptions and is having a hard time finding one. After a few minutes of the employee looking all over for this prescription another pharmacy worker asks her what she is looking for. Come to find out it was a medicine that goes in the refrigerator. The idiot customer says, “Oh, yeah they always keep it in the refrigerator. I have to keep it in there at home too.” Strike 1, idiot. Why didn’t she say something? The employee was looking all over right in front of her and there is no refrigerator there. Finally, all of the idiot’s prescriptions have been found. Now the customer proceeds to start hunting for her check book in her oversized purse. After around 5 minutes she finds her check book and fills out the check. Couldn’t have had the checkbook found and written, except for the amount, while she was waiting for her prescriptions? Strike 2, idiot. Strike 3, the idiot had to hunt for her ID because it was a temporary check and that took her another 2-3 minutes longer. Then she had to check the amount and where she was about three or four times. Why is it that people don’t get their crap ready while they’re waiting in line?! Wait, they’re idiots!

Moron With Coupon

A-Train — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:56:34 +0000

[I work in a shopping center where there are multiple stores, an arts and crafts store, a hardware store, and a sporting goods store(where I work).]

Today a man came into our sporting goods store and asked me if we would accept his coupon (for 40% off bouquets at the crafts store) I explained to him that, no, we would not, because his coupon was for 40% off bouquets at the crafts store…”oh” he says, then his next question is to ask me where our rakes and trashcans are, I respond, “Sir, you must be thinking of the hardware store next door…we are a sporting goods store…” He responds…”oh”…and then walks out. The saddest part of this story was that he was probably the politest and least idiotic customer I had all day…