Continue reading »]]> Customer: (Walks up with a CD player with headphones still plugged into it and chucks it onto the counter). You sold me a faulty CD player and ruined my sons’ birthday. This was his big gift and you ruined it for him!
Me: I am sorry, what is wrong with the CD player?

Customer: (Picks up the CD player and pushes play) See, it makes a funny sound and doesn’t play the disc.

Me: (I take the CD player from her, pushed stop, opened it, and took out the CD. In the CD player is a round piece of paper that says in large red ink, “Remove before using. This is not a disc and is only for use during shipping.” I removed the paper, placed the CD back in, pushed play and sure enough music starts playing.)  I say to her: “It isn’t defective it just didn’t have this removed before using it.”

Customer: Well! (She grabbed the CD player out of my hand and storms out of the store.)

Not sure how her son or her could possibly miss that insert?!

Continue reading »]]> Customer: I want to return this camcorder. Here is my receipt.

Me: Alright, but since it has been opened there will be a 10% restocking fee to return it.

Customer: That is bullshit! I bought that to record my wedding and it didn’t work, so if anything you owe me money for selling me a defective camcorder!

Me: If it is defective our policy is that we can exchange it for another camcorder but we cannot do a return unless you pay the 10% restocking fee.

Customer: I want your manager! This is bullshit! You ruin my chances of having my wedding taped and you are going to charge me to return the camcorder! Get me your manager.

Me: I will get the manager and will be right back.

My manager comes over, speaks to the customer and eventually gives in and takes back the camcorder without the re-stocking fee. Now that it is considered defective it has to be checked by a store tech before it goes back to the manufacturer. When the store tech went to check it later guess what he found? The woman’s wedding tape still in the fully functioning camcorder! She never came back in looking for her precious tape.

Continue reading »]]> [I worked at the customer service desk for a large electronics store.]

Customer: Every time I buy something in this store it doesn’t work and this is the worse one yet. The tape will not even fit into the player. What kind of crap are you selling here? (She then demonstrates by trying to jam a tape into the Walkman and slamming the door down on the tape over and over again screaming.) See! See!

Me: If you could please let me take a look at that.

Customer: (Handing it to me.) Yay, you try.

Me: (I take out the tape, look inside and find a big piece of white foam that is over the rollers and head assembly. I remove the foam and put the tape back in and then pushed play.) There, problem solved, it was just this piece of foam.

Customer: Why do you put that in there if it isn’t needed? That is just ridiculous!

Me: For starters we did not put that in there, Sony did and it is there to protect the reading heads during shipping. It is a normal practice. The tape player is fine.

Customer: It better be because if I have any other problems I am coming to see you!

(She left and thankfully I never saw her again)

Continue reading »]]> [Our lost prevention department where I work retail is very good at what they do. The day in question loss prevention was being manned by a retired marine, we will call him Jim.]

A young man was stuffing CDs and DVDs down his pants, into the lining of his coat, and anywhere else he could fit things. Jim was recording all this with the camera. State law prevented us from doing anything unless the customer tried to leave the store with the merchandise.

When the young man went to leave the store with his loot, Jim stepped in front of him with his arms crossed and asked: “Where do you think you are you going with our merchandise?”

The guy then opens his coat to what looked like a gun in a holster, and doesn’t say a thing. Jim is no idiot, unarmed, he moves out of the guys’ way, letting him leave the store.

The police come and get a copy of the tape, take statements and leave.

About fifteen minutes later they come back and take two guys, one of them being the thief, in hand cuffs to the loss prevention office.

Later, we learned that after leaving the store the thief went to the restaurant next door, met his friend and were hanging out at a window seat of the restaurant to observe the aftermath of what he had done. To their surprise the cops noticed them while doing paperwork in their patrol car in front of the restaurant and proceeded to go in and arrest them. It ended up being a bb gun in the holster, still, in our state that counts as armed robbery.

Continue reading »]]> [The store I worked for at the time was listed in the phone book next to another major retailer, and both started with the same word.]

Me: Thank you for calling **** **** my name is **** how may I help you.

Caller: Yes, I would like to speak to someone about your trash cans.

Me: I am sorry we do not sell trash cans, this is an electronics store. You must have the wrong number. You have reached *** ***.

Caller: I know who I called, now transfer me to your home accessories department so I can speak to them about a trashcan I bought there. It broke already and I need to exchange it.

Me: Miss, I am sorry but we do not have a home accessories department, we only sell electronics. We do not sell trash cans.

Caller: Yes you do, I just bought one there a few days ago. You don’t know your job very well. Is this customer service or not.

Me: I am in customer service but we do not… (She cuts me off)

Caller: Then can I come in and exchange my trash can or not? Or do I need to speak with your supervisor?
(I’m tired of arguing)

Me: Yes, you can bring it in and we will exchange it, no problem.

Caller: That is better. Now what is your name again?

Me: John. (Not my real name of course)

Caller: All right John, are you going to be there the rest of the day?

Me: Yes, just bring in the trash can and I will help you personally, OK?

Caller: OK, see you soon.

Of course I did not see her that day. I later wondered if there was a John at the store she thought she was calling.  Oh well.

Continue reading »]]> [When working for a major electronics company’s return and exchange department I had some interesting encounters with idiot customers.]

This one was a real winner. He brings in a Playstation and sits it down on the counter and states he wants a new one because it doesn’t work.

Looking at the Playstation it is covered with soda pop that apparently someone did a half ass job trying to clean it up. Immediately I state that we would only be able to send it for service at a cost because it is obvious that there was pop spilled on it.

The customer proceeds to ask for a manager, so I got one and she proceeds to advise him of the same option. The customer then calls my manager a “dyke bitch”. I asked him to refrain from speaking to my co-worker this way and he threatens to come over the counter. I pick up the phone and announce to the store “security to customer service please, security to customer service please.” The guy quickly picks up his filthy Playstation and storms out of the store without another word. What is wrong with people?