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How do you spell Linksys? W-e-b-s-t-a-r?

The customer calls in because her internet is not working. I can see with our software that the modem is working and ask the customer if she has a router and she says yes. I asked her what brand the router is and she says Webstar. I let her know that this is | continue reading »»

I want my channels back!

Caller: I want to know why I do not get channels “a, b, and c” anymore.

Me: I am sorry you are not receiving channels “a,b, and c” anymore but you are not signed up for them and have never been signed up to get those channels. You must have been receiving them in error. | continue reading »»

BSoD

[I work for a company that provides Phone, Internet and Cable service, and get calls like the following almost daily.]

Me: Thank you for calling ***, my name is ***, how may I help you today?

Caller: I cannot get on the internet.

Me: I am sorry to you are unable to get on the internet. | continue reading »»

Sometimes Stupid Is Free

[In some states, phone company customers are allocated 1 or 2 free directory assistance calls per billing cycle.]

I received a directory assistance call from an idiot asking if he had used his free call for the month yet. I explained that we dont have access to his billing but since he was on the phone, I | continue reading »»

Overly Technical

Everyone has different levels of understanding for computers but sometimes people make me wonder how they breathe, much less use their computer. I troubleshoot computer issues for a major PC manufacturer. I once asked a customer to press the power button located on the front of her PC tower and she responded with, “Don’t | continue reading »»

Customer Service Fights Back

[I work for a credit card company in customer care taking escalated calls.]

Calling this guy an idiot is being nice. I’ll give you the short version. Some general facts about his credit card before we get started:

1. Balance was $17,300+
2. Minimum payment due about $519
3. NOT | continue reading »»

Racist Ignoramus

[One of my co-workers sitting next to me in our credit card call center, has an obvious southern accent and got a racist ignoramus on the phone. I have to let you know my co-worker was fresh to the phones from training, so didn’t know the systems real well yet. We will call her | continue reading »»

Lower APR

[As you read this, keep in mind that we are calling business owners with an existing business credit card, carrying a balance and are offering to lower the rate on the existing balance and with their permission change them from a Visa to a Mastercard to achieve this.]

Marketer:  Hello, my name is ——-  —— calling on | continue reading »»

Do Not Call

[I monitor calls for a telemarketing company.  I could not believe this inbound call.  The rep really kept her cool.]

Customer:  I want you to quit calling my house.  Remove me from your do not call list!

Rep:  I am sorry you have been bothered by our calling you.  I would be happy to add your phone number | continue reading »»

Lost In Time!

Me: I’m sorry there is a problem with your bill. What is the problem please?
Caller: I sent you a payment for $150 on January 24th. You should have it by now and you are still showing me past due and are threatening to shut off my services! Why are you not | continue reading »»