Continue reading »]]> Industry:
Customer Service

Occupation:
Retail Sales
Location:
Washington, US

The other day I had a woman come up to my counter asking for a calculator expert. She had purchased a little 10$ scientific calculator for her daughter. Since no such expert exists (what kind of store gives extensive training on a calculator?) and since I didn’t have any customers at the time, I offered to answer some questions for her. I figured she’d just want the difference between her little 10$ calc and one of the big 100$ graphing calculators.

No, she proceeds to ask me what every function does, to the point where I have to explain more advanced math functions to her. This wasn’t for her, by the way. She was doing this so her 13 year old daughter would know what to do. I finally ended up telling her that her daughter’s teacher, the one who gets paid to teach, will show her what she needs to know. If she has any other questions, she can use the mysterious Google machine.

Continue reading »]]> Dear Customers:
Now that the holidays are upon us, you may find yourselves frustrated and angry during your shopping trips, and you feel that it is our duty to stand there and be dumped on by you because you have the money. Here are some important things to remember:
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS WRONG: Whoever said “the customer is always right” never had to deal with the retards of today. Anytime a customer has an issue with a price or a policy is because they can’t be bothered to read all the signs all over the store. I am not giving a 90% discount because the customer can’t read a label nor am I going to allow you to return something on day 91 or later.
SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA: Spare us the sob story. So what if you are late picking up your kids because the lines are long/price checks/supervisor overrides, etc. We don’t care. Leave earlier, and if it’s pissing you off, it isn’t our fault. We would rather not have to deal with your stupid ass. We are not liable for anything other than what we have direct control over. Good luck trying to sue us because your house flooded while you were waiting in line (some schmuck actually tried to claim this).
WE ARE HUMAN TOO: Don’t expect good service if disrespect us. We work a crap job serving crap people for crappy pay. If you give us a hard time, we are not thinking “how can I improve this person’s experience,” we are thinking “give me something to kill you with . . . can you pick up a car and drop it on a person.” We have families too; do not come in on a holiday unless you absolutely need to. You can do without the oil change on thanksgiving, nor do you need to be hanging around right before we close. Get your crap and leave.
DON’T MESS WITH THE PERSON HANDLING YOUR FOOD: Watch the movie “Waiting.” You don’t see how your food is prepared, if you treat your server like crap, you will definitely get some “garlic salt” added, or have Mexican mixed with continental. If there is a problem with your meal, be polite and tip well.
Keep these points in mind and we’ll get along fine.
Sincerely
All Fed Up Service Employees

Continue reading »]]> The other night, I was working overtime and was in the last hour of a 13 hour day. Things had slowed down so I was thinking “hey I may be able to relax and have a nice drive home tonight.”

Just then I heard a diesel engine and then this Dodge Ram pickup with duel rear wheels pulls up. This Russian guy jumps out and starts talking to me about his tires. After a minute I figured out that he wanted me to rotate his rear tires because he had uneven treadwear. I had to explain to him several times that we’d rotate the tires and check the air pressures because that could be the source of most of his problems.

I figured this would not be as difficult as having to do a full rotate and balance on all 6 wheels, I told him that it would be about 45 mins. He then told me that he had a Blow-and-Go (which is a breathalyzer that you have to pass before you can start the vehicle). That’s when I thought “crap, I’m not going home anytime soon.” Anytime some dumbass comes in with those things, they take off in the store and we can’t find them to start their f@#*ing car.

I pulled the vehicle in and got it lifted and started pulling off the rear wheels, and then the inner wheels wouldn’t come off. The hubs had rusted to the point where the steel wheels fused to the hubs. Half an hour later and a crap load of pounding with a sledge hammer, they came off and I figured ” hey now I can finish up and get this jerk out of here. Nope, wasn’t going to happen.

The guy came out and asked me if he should get his front tires rebalanced to eliminate vibration. I told him that it would probably take care of it, so he decides right then that he wants his front tires balanced. F#*& me, now you want me to mess with the front tires, and I have to track down the UPC to add an additional service to the work order. Luckily my supervisor came back so he helped me with the balancing.

I finally get the truck back together and guess what, the ass f$*& who had been standing over me while I work has now disappeared, right when we need his stupid ass to start the f@#*ing thing. He finally shows up, we get it started and I do the final torque. I see the end in sight and then the damn hubcaps won’t go back on. I get fed up with them and go to find someone to take over and then my lovely coworkers close all the doors and lock the customer entrance while I was still out there. After banging on the door an nearly going on a rampage, I finally got out 40 minutes after I was supposed to leave.

Continue reading »]]> An old guy came in today and wanted 4 new tires. He handed me a quote that he got the day before for 17 inch tires. I looked and his door and guess what, HE HAS 18 INCH RIMS. After explaining to him that while he was quoted for 17 inch tires I could not install said tires on rims that were bigger. To make things even more annoying, he had an odd ball tire size so we didn’t have the damn things to begin with. He asked me if we can get some in and I told him we don’t stock that size and that he’d have to go onto the website and order them.  He seemed puzzled by this concept so he asks me if I could go online for him. I told him that because he had to enter his personal information and his credit card that we could not do it on the store’s network terminal, (and I just didn’t want him crashing our outdated browser). He asked for the tech that gave him the quote and when I found the tech and was asking him about the tire quote, the old coot then goes to the moron at the from desk and begins asking about the same crap I’m trying to figure out for him. So now I have a dumbass asking me the same questions over and over again and a dips@*t coworker telling him the same information I just gave. Turns out that the old fart didn’t have a clue what his tire size was so the tech had to search for the tire size by the information of the vehicle. He had larger wheels installed as a dealer option so the vehicle’s info didn’t do crap. I hope that this bumbling idiot finds what he needs before I whack him with a 17 inch tire.

Continue reading »]]> After a weak attempt by The Man to shut this constitutionally protected forum down, I took over Idiot Customers, and now it’s back under INDEPENDENT ownership. This site was started as a forum to vent, rant and slam the stupid idiots that make your life a living hell. Open it up and get it off your chest (before you go on a rampage and make the news) and have some fun at someone else’s expense. Share Your Story!

Continue reading »]]> This guy slams a box on the customer service counter and starts screaming at me. He says the damn thing doesn’t work and there are holes in his roof because of us. The guy then said if it rains we will be paying for the repairs to his house. He ranted for some time, repeating over and over again, that there are holes in his roof. Apparently he had bought a satellite system, went home, installed it on his roof and then proceeded to uninstall it claiming it doesn’t work. After listening to the jerk go on forever about how we supposedly sold him defective merchandise, he finally stopped screaming long enough for me to speak. I asked, “Did you call to sign up for services?” He responded, “What do you mean sign up for services?” I proceeded to take a very large piece of paper out of the box he brought with him. Across the top in big red letters it says, “Before installation please call to activate services at 1-800-….” I pointed to the words. He looked at it in dead silence, picked up his box and walked back out the door. Secretly I was wishing it would rain.