BSoD

[I work for a company that provides Phone, Internet and Cable service, and get calls like the following almost daily.]

Me: Thank you for calling *******, my name is ********, how may I help you today?

Caller: I cannot get on the internet.

Me: I am sorry to you are unable to get on the internet. What happens when you try to get onto the internet?

Caller: I startup the internet and everything looks normal at first and then a blue screen comes up with a bunch of white writing on it. It says something about a fatal exception.

Me: The entire screen goes blue after you turn on the computer and see the Windows logo?

Caller: Yep, it looks like you guys got to get over here and fix this.

Me: Sir, I hate to say this but the problem is with your computer. The screen you are describing is called a “Blue Screen of Death”. It comes up if there is something wrong with the Windows operating system. You will need to take your computer to a specialist or call your computer manufacturer for help with this issue, I can provide their number for you.

Caller: But I cannot get on the internet. Are you saying you are not going to help me?

Me: I’m unable to help resolve such an issue, and there is nothing any of our techs can do for the issue you are having. This is not a problem with the internet. Our services are working. If you were to hook up another computer it would be able to access the internet. Your computer is not booting up all the way, so your computer is not working and that is what is stopping you from getting on the internet. You will need to call your computer manufacturer.

Caller: So you are not going to help me get online?

Me: Again, sir, you need a PC repair person to help you with a computer issue, not your internet service provider… (he cuts me off)

Caller: You’re not going to help me. What do I pay you guys for?

Me: You pay ******* for your access to the internet, not your computer or the upkeep or repair of your computer. Our services are working. It is your computer that is not working… (he cuts me off, again)

Caller: Well, I cannot access the internet so you have to help me.

Me: Sir, I’m not sure how to explain this any clearer. Your computer is the problem. The error you are seeing is coming from the Windows operating system that controls your computer, letting you know that there is a problem with your computer. The error has nothing to do with the internet, or *******’s services. You will need to contact your computer manufacturer or a computer repair specialist to resolve the issue. We do not repair computers, we only provide the means for your computer to reach the internet through our services. No internet provider would be able to resolve this issue for you.

Caller: I don’t know what I have been paying you for if you are not going to help me. I will just call (competitor’s name). I will switch to them and I am sure they will help me. I will call back to cancel later. (He disconnected the call.)

Truly amazing how many people think the internet is their computer. Some people should not own a computer.

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